Am I really Uncaged?

Answering Your Burning Questions About My Journey and the Heart of Uncaged

So… I wrote a freaking book. A best-selling book to boot. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would actually get to say that. Throughout this journey I was not tied to “best seller” or “#1” anything. My purpose was to show people that despite the only way out being through, they can find comfort in a peaceful future to look forward to. There is forgiveness to be had, healing to be done, and a glow-up meant to be!

While not tied to it, I also know that achieving bestseller allows me to spread that message ever further. So, for that, for the sales, the reviews, the support - I am honored and eternally grateful.

Many people have reached out with messages, screenshots of sections in the book that resonated with them, pictures of the paperback as they receive it. (please keep that up!) All filled with such kind words that as I read them, I can feel my heart swell as tears form in my eyes. I am humbled by the reactions people are having and even more so that they feel called to share their stories with me after reading mine.

Ok, so moving on from the mushy, let’s get to the good stuff that so many are asking for…. In addition to the flood of support, I have also received a plethora of juicy questions! So, I thought I would take a moment and answer a few in case you had them too!

*Spoiler alert ahead*

If you have not read the book, these answers may ruin it for you so head over to Amazon and snag your copy now. Come back when you are done! We will be here spilling the tea and dancing with the skeletons!

Here goes…

Was writing a book hard? By far - one of the hardest things I have ever done. You read my story…so you know I have a pretty good barometer for “hard shit”. Let me also say, it was one of the most humbling, beautifully messy journeys I have ever conquered. Two things can be true…

Did my friends know? Very few. Several have reached out and apologized for not knowing. This is my response: “It isn’t your fault you missed out on it, it’s mine. I didn’t reach out, I didn’t tell you, I didn’t come to you… I didn’t know how. How do you even start a conversation like that, ya know? Please trust me when I say, I know you wouldn’t have judged and you 100% would have been there - every step- that wasn’t my hesitation. Shame was my hesitation. I never thought I would find myself in the middle of all of that, I felt guilty and angry with no real way to “talk” about it with those I love the most. I hope you aren’t angry with me for not…”

Do I still talk to my mom? Yes, but very infrequently, and with boundaries in place. I stand firm on knowing how far I am willing to let her go and there are things I will not share with her to protect my peace.

Have my parents read the book? I don’t know. They know about it, but they have not said anything to me. I do not anticipate they will, but am confident there will be signs from my mother when/if she does... iykyk

Has my ex read the book? No. He also knows about it but made it clear he does not want to read it. I respect that.

Has the co-parent read the book? No idea and that is none of my business.

Am I scared of what people will do/think? Ha, yes and no. Who wouldn’t be fearful when they have been so vulnerable?! BUT - #1 that would be putting myself back in a cage! Kind of against the point of the book. #2 I have LOTS of safeguards in place. #3 I can’t be focused on what people will think/do, everyone who reads this will interpret it their way - no one can interpret it my way. I have ZERO control over how anyone else feels, thinks, or responds.

Were you scared of being judged? Ommm I have been judged my whole life. Not new to me. The way I looked at it, people have been judging me, talking about me, avoiding me for a long time, about a decade for most of the things in the book. While I sat in shameful silence, everyone else had their turn - on social media, in court documents and attorney filings, in the pick up line, around town. Now it’s mine. Difference is, I began healing before I spoke up.

One more thing about that… What I had to say won’t change BEING judged, it’ll just give them something new to judge!

If all of those things happened, why did I have a child with my ex? Sometimes we have blinders on… We live a life of shoulds (also ikyky) We can’t make ourselves see the truth because wearing and/or seeing the mask is more comfortable than facing the truth. Reality is hard for most people, especially when you have your life intertwined with someone else’s, when unmasking means starting over - means failure. I clung to the good times, which there were many of, so that I didn’t have to admit the bad times. I was constantly praying things would change. Praying to be seen. Trying to uncage myself from my childhood cages - which was not his fault, but mine. All the while growing further and further apart and watching the masks on both of our faces slip away.

I was also convinced I could change him…. So, there’s that.

Why’d I continue to date/stay with/marry Mark? That one is easy peasy - his heart. I know every layer of this man from soul to toes. With him, I am safe. (also, see next question)

How was I so sure the accusations were a lie/why did I believe Mark? This was a hot one and comes with a long answer!

The #1 reason…I was literally there when the original lie was threatened, heard it with my own two ears. (Happily Never After chapter). Then there were the binders full of evidence that I collected over the next few years - texts, social media posts, inconsistencies, begging, extortion - it was undeniable. Then came the bogus plea deal and realizing even the lawyers didn’t believe it. (Monster chapter)

But the real answer, beyond ALL of that. The one thing that has continually solidified the truth for me… I am ALWAYS the focus. Let me explain - there are these heinous accusations, right? (you read it, you know!) but yet the only focus of the smear campaigns, social media posts, name calling, blame shifting rants, etc. is ME and this alleged affair. That has been the sole narrative the entire time. I have been called a whore, a home wrecker, the downgrade, and most recently a tramp. Nine years and I am still being blamed for the demise of a marriage, blamed for what I “stole”. IF this accusation were true, there would not be a focus on what was stolen.

If I’m so healed, why did I write a book about it all? Why did I start a business using that platform? Valid questions! Simple answer - My story is a testament to resilience. It’s not a dwelling place; it’s a lighthouse for those still navigating the storm.

Writing a book or starting a business about my journey isn’t a sign of lingering wounds—it’s a reflection of my growth and transformation. It’s about sharing the story not because I am still living in the pain, or a place of revenge, but because I’ve moved through it and want to inspire others to do the same.

In full transparency, I originally started this business for 100% selfish reasons… I was craving justice for myself, my family, or at least find a way to help others get it since it was seemingly eluding my life. I needed to find peace and healing. But what was born out of that originally selfish mission became my passion - my purpose.

Am I really healed? NOOOOOOO - I am healing. This is my purpose, my journey…not a finish line I am hoping to reach. I will always be working on myself.

Do I still see/help clients? 100% yes!! I am a Divorce Recovery Specialist first and foremost and I ADORE my clients. Watching the transformational glow-up unfold as I walk beside them - ahhh - I will NEVER give that up!

Are there plans for a second book? Maybe…. :)…. ok YES! Early 2026 is the goal post for that!

Thanks for coming along to the Uncaging… stay tuned….